GOD, I REALLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!

May 21^st

After my doctor called on Thursday, he setup an appointment with a Hematologist. But the appointment wasn't until Monday. At this point, I have had all weekend to think about the news I just received. Did I have CANCER? Will I survive? What will my family do without me? GOD, I REALLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW! I work in a business casual environment so I got up and got dressed for work. I had a pretty dress and some nice sandals to match. I normally don’t wear dresses but today I wanted to be dressed-up to get the good news. I knew he was going to tell me that it was a mistake. “We switched your blood for someone else’s!” And after the good news, I would go into work feeling blessed that Jesus had healed my body. Well, we got to the doctor’s office, why did the sign read “Midwest Cancer Center”, my nerves were bad now. I thought I had an appointment with a Hematologist. But, I went in anyway. I sat there trying to fight the emotion that was building up. I wanted to cry so badly. But I couldn’t let fear get me down. Shortly after, out of nowhere my husband just hugged me. I needed that so badly. It was my turn. As my mother sat in the waiting room, Theo and I entered the back of the office. They took my weight and got me situated in a patient room. Oh, that nurse was so nice. She was pregnant too. She, Theo, and I sat and talked while she was getting my blood pressure. She was telling us that she hadn’t found out the sex of any of her babies. Theo and I looked at each other and decided at that point, we would NOT find out the sex of our baby, as well. We needed a BIG happy surprise in our lives. The nurse left the room, and the doctor entered. He asked how I was doing and then it started. Well, based off the test results, you have CML. (Chronic myelogenous leukemia) But you're pregnant, so you are going to have to decide rather or not you want to keep the baby. We need to start treatment right away and the treatment can cause birth defects and miscarriages. We need a bone marrow biopsy to confirm. Thinking to myself…Who does he think he is? He doesn’t even know me like that!!! The first thing he says is give up my baby!! Then out of nowhere I blurred out..”Make him stop talking, Theo”! He apologized that he came off so harsh. He wanted me to understand how serious this condition could be. I agreed to the bone marrow biopsy.