Thursday, October 25, 2012

Sorry, it's been awhile.


 

October 25, 2012

Good morning!! It sure has been a while.  I am so sorry.  I have been so busy trying to keep up with everything else.  Not a lot has been going on.  Monday was my first day on bed rest.  Sitting at work was getting to be too rough.  I have been having contractions (Braxton hick’s) more frequently. My doctor’s seem to think I have too much amniotic fluid surrounding the baby causing my body to think I am further along than I really am.  So I have been told to SIT!  I have 35 days until my scheduled C-section.  I am too excited but I don’t think I will make it that long.  I am big as a house.  Malachi is doing well too.  He is a big boy.  I can’t wait to meet him.  (still working on the middle name though)  I had a baby shower a couple of weeks ago and it was really nice.  So many people came out to support me.  I am so grateful! I still need a few bigger items.  My blood count is back to as if I was normal.  My count is at 9K.  I will start the real treatment since the baby is born. I am claiming healing right now, in Jesus name.  I will not have to face this for the rest of my life.  This is something I just had to go through to get closer to God. And we are becoming good friends.  Have your way with me Lord!! Keep me close in your prayers and I will do the same.

Monday, September 10, 2012

I am lost!


September 10, 2012

Guess what? Still boring!! Yeah!! Life being boring is great news for me.  I am down to two pills a day and 15,000.  My count may fluctuate up or down as they get my dosage right.  I have a sonogram tomorrow.  It will tell us how well the baby is growing and we can finally set my due date.  At my last appointment, he was measuring 5 weeks early.  I am so excited, I think but I feel so lost. I am in a state of wilderness.  What is the purpose of all this?  Will my pain become something great? While visiting with my doctor, I noticed that he wasn’t as happy as he normally is.  So I asked him what the matter was.  He explained that his daughter was going through Melanoma which is a form of skin cancer.  From his look, I don’t think she is doing well.  So as of today, I am starting a prayer list.  If you need prayer, let me know.  I will post your first name only and reach many for prayer for you.  I am going to start the list with Michelle, she should be preparing for transplant today.  The next is my doctor’s daughter, please pray for healing.  Gina and her husband also need some prayer for continued strength.  And as for me, please ask God to do what he sees fit for me.  Thanks!!!

Boring....


September 1, 2012

Good Morning!! It’s been awhile! The good news is not much has been going on.  I had a sonogram a few weeks ago.  Malachi is a little over 2 weeks ahead of schedule.  He was measuring 1 pound 11 ounces and 14 ½ inches long.  He is strong and everything seemed to be going well.  My goal blood count in preparing for the baby’s arrival is 20,000.  I am down to 18,000. YEAH! The doctor’s has also reduced my medicine intake.  Instead of 4 a day, I am down to three.  Life to this point has been somewhat boring but I do praise God for it.  I have two people who were in my shoes I can talk to.  I am in prayer for my newest friend Michelle.  She is about to undergo a bone marrow transplant.  She has to go through 8 days of chemo and will lose all of her hair.  After the 8 days, her brother will come in and they will start to extract his marrow and give it to her.  Wow!  But when it’s all done, she will be cancer free.  I have some research to do but I am thinking this is the way I want to go.  I don’t want to be subjected to medicine and cancer for the rest of my life.  I am praying over it. 

Friday, August 17, 2012

Inadequate


August 16, 2012

I sit all day. I sit at work.  When I get home, I sit. I am not sure if I sit because I can get away with it or does leukemia really affect people like this. I don’t know for sure because I refuse to research anything on the matter.  I have all these thoughts of what I want to do but no energy to do it.  I asked my husband if I was this lazy before I was diagnosed.  He wouldn’t answer.  So maybe I am just lazy.  It hit when I was at work and received a call from Theo.  He told me he was struggling to make lunch for the kids second day of school.  Having lunch ready would’ve been a priority but I didn’t even think about it.  My son’s birthday is coming up too.  I have nothing.  I am a big birthday person and normally would have a party planned by now.  I was so concerned about what I want to do; I have my priorities out of order.  I guess I will blame being over emotional on pregnancy because I cried like a baby. Get it together, Donita!! My friends at work came to the rescue and explained I was just being too hard on myself.  They were just being nice.  No excuses!! I am a wife, a mother, and an example.  I have to get it together.   I find my prayer list getting longer and longer.

Great News!!


August 15, 2012

I have been waiting on this day for a week. Everyone including myself wants to know when is the baby due?  I haven’t had an answer in quite some time.  The last I heard was he could be here as soon as 10/12.  I didn’t want that at all.  At the Perinatal appointment, I had a sonogram.  Everything looks great.  Malachi is still measuring 2 weeks early.  He is head down and ready to gain all the weight needed to be healthy.  The doctor assured me that there was no reason why Malachi needed to be here before 38 weeks unless my health changes.  This is GREAT NEWS!! I was told it was possible they would recommend that he was delivery at 34 weeks.  My nephew had to stay in the hospital awhile since he was born early.  I don’t want that.  Now this makes 3 doctors’ appointments per week.

The mystery note

August 13, 2012

Today, everyone had to go their separate ways.  Theo had to be at work, I had a doctor’s appointment, and the boys were out of school so they had to spend the day with Uncle Robert.  Good thing I have a great mother, she came over to watch and shuttle the boys.  My doctor’s appointment went well.  I am down to 42,000.  I was also informed that I may have to get another bone marrow biopsy.  And they don’t want to put me to sleep.  It hurts!!!  I am ok with the biopsy, but not the awake part.  I will be fighting this idea.  Once I got to work, there was a note awaiting my arrival.  I was so pretty.  I was intrigued so I took a closer look.  Someone had thought about ME and made a card.  It was decorated beautifully with butterflies and said God loves me.  The note went on to say that this person was thinking of me and just felt the need to share a token of love with me.  She explained if there was anything she could do, she was there for me as well.  She also shared her on testimony.  It was the day she found out her husband had leukemia.  She felt like she was the one going through.  She cried and cried again.  She felt the weight of the world on her shoulders.  What would see do next? How would they get by?  Would he be healed?  She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.  But God reassured her.  God let her know that just because we are Christians doesn’t mean we have it easy.  But he will bring us through.  This is the same lady from the earlier post on 7/9/2012.  She was going to be off on vacation and wanted to let me know.  I hope she has a great one, she deserves it.  This story helps me keep things in perspective.  I am not the only one facing my illness.  My husband who is my main support is also going through a tough time.  He may feel the weight of the world on his shoulders.  I try to keep him uplifted and encouraged but sometimes I fall short.  Keep me in your prayers. 

Saturday, August 11, 2012

God sent another angel.


August 9, 2012

God has sent me another angel, an angel who knows exactly what I am going through.  My sister did some research to help me in starting my new non-for-profit.  I found a website called Hope for Two.  On the site, I could choose to have a support woman call me.  If you know me personally, I do not throw pity parties.  I don’t want to be in an atmosphere of sadness and despair.  I am not the group meeting kind of girl.  Well, I decided to sign up for this “support woman “ to call a few days ago.  Today, she called. I was working and couldn’t take the call.  I had doubts about calling back, but I had questions.  The boys were busy watching TV and Theo was on his way home so I had a few minutes.  What’s the worst that could happen?  At the very least, it would be a question- answer session.  I dialed the number.  I explained who I was and she took control of the call.  She asked me to tell my story.  I told her and then she told her story.  She was just married and not using birth control because of some medical conditions that lead her to believe she couldn’t have children.  Well, three months later, she was pregnant with her first child.  At the first prenatal visit, her blood count was high enough to land her in the hospital.  She took a different medication to control her blood count but all was well.  Her choice of treatment to keep her white blood cell count in check was by taking injections in her stomach daily.  On the last visit, the baby’s amniotic fluids were low so the doctor decided it was time to induce labor.  She started the induction on Tuesday and the baby was finally delivered on Friday.  She was then facing some complications following childbirth with a blood clot and an infection of the blood.  After two weeks, she was strong enough to go home.  She immediately started treating the leukemia with Gleevac, the same medication I will need to take after my baby is born.  Some of the symptoms of this treatment is nausea, hair loss, and fatigue, all of which she is dealing with.  She is now contemplating having a bone marrow transplant to alleviate all the problems and be completely healed.  But there are risks so she is deciding if it’s worth it.  Well, that’s the story but the touching part was that she is a Christian.  God sends you what you need, even if you haven’t thought about asking for it.  Her son, Ezra Isaiah, was born 2 years ago and is watching over his mother like a guardian angel, healthy as can be.  I asked if she would stay in touch with me while I experience what she did.  She agreed.  She also sent pictures of Ezra and he is so very cute.  We also agreed to keep each other in our prayers.  I LOVE GOD, HE WORKS IN MYSTERIOU S WAYS!!!    

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Cancer who?

THANK YOU, JESUS.

I am so grateful. I am truly blessed. Cancer who? Not me!! The doctor assured me that a small increase during this time is ok. My count is down to 50,000. It should be around 20,000 when Malachi gets here. And when that is, I am not for sure. I have an appointment with a Perinatologist (high risk pregnancy doctor) on Wednesday, August 15. I will have more to share about Malachi's arrival than. I need your help. I need a great middle name for my messenger. Please update facebook.com/pregnantandfightingcancer with what you think it should be. In the meantime, stayed prayed up and give God all the glory!! In the meantime, stayed prayed up and give God all the glory!!

Friday, August 3, 2012

Due date?


Aug. 3rd

Per last post: Texas returned my call.  I wish they hadn’t.  God must really don’t want me there.  They were rude.  It seemed as if no one cared because it was already on record that my insurance had been denied.  I hated to have that experience.  If I have to go, it will be by force. 

I received a call from my doctor today.  He explained that he was referring me to the high risk doctor and I should receive a call soon about appointments and such.  He also explained that when put in this situation before these doctors would take the babies at 34 weeks.  Well, they are going to have to have a good reason for that.  So where does this put me? Not sure.  I think I am 22 weeks pregnant based off my date of my last cycle which puts me at 12/4/12.  The sonographer says I am 2 ½ weeks above my due date at 11/21.  Well, if they really take the baby at 34 weeks, then that date would be 10/25.  Wow! This is going really fast. I look like a house. People can’t believe that I haven’t made it to 6 months yet.  (no weight around the body) I am not complaining but my nails are starting to turn black around the cuticle on my thumbs.  I can’t stand to see it.  It’s a reminder that it’s true, for now any way.  I had an appointment today.  I skipped it.  I figured that I have another appointment on Monday.  I am going to enjoy myself this weekend with no worries!!  I might go to the water park.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Forget me not...


July 30, 2012

It’s been awhile, I know!!  The fund was setup at US Bank.  Any checks received needs to be made out to pregnant and fighting cancer.  I have been living the good life.  Every time I return to the doctor, everything is going great.  My blood count is down more and more.  I am getting ready for our new arrival, who I feel kicking and flipping every day.  He has given me such joy.   I am trying so hard to stay strong for him.  But today, I had a funny feeling.  I sat in the waiting room and something deep said “Prepare, some bad news is coming”.  Well shortly after, I received word that my blood count had gone UP by 3,000.  It’s not much I know but….. It’s up.  Why?? I haven’t missed a dose.  Could my body be starting to get used to it?  There is not much more they can do if this medication doesn’t work, what’s next?  Is it the pregnancy hormones that have got me all over the place? I heard, I cried.  And I cried again. And again.  I feel like I have total faith in God and that he will bring me through, but is it wrong to cry?  Can I not have emotion about this?  Can I think it sucks to hear bad news?  I am now rethinking the Texas trip.  I called this morning to see if an appeal is the right thing to do.  I am now waiting on a return call.  I will let you know what’s next.  But in the meantime, forget me not.  Please keep me in your prayers.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

2 weeks early


July 24, 2012

The last couple of days have been exciting.  I found out by sonogram that the baby may be here a couple of weeks early.  He is due to arrive on my late mother-in-law’s birthday.  If this happens, the kids will have birthdays of 7, 14, and 21.  Birthdays by 7.  What a coincidence! My white blood count is down to 67, 000.  The doctor said it should be down to normal by the time the baby is born! I am so blessed to feel normal.  If I look back, it really has not been that hard.  The hardest part of my whole journey has been just dealing with it emotionally.  But God has given me peace beyond any understanding.  Get to know him.  Everyone knows that cancer can take a toll on not only your body but your pocket has well.  I have been asked to start a donation account.  I feel really awkward in even posting it.  But I know how this could affect my livelihood.  The fund will be available Thursday.  If the fund is successful, I can help others in the same situation. (Pregnant and fighting leukemia) More information to come.  No pressure! Just if you can!

Friday, July 20, 2012

NOTHING!!





Guess what's going on today! NOTHING!!! I am so happy.  I feel great. At my last appointment, my blood count was 96,000.  I am truly blessed. THANK GOD.  Thank God for sending his son and allowing him to take this away.  I have such a peace about my whole situation.  I am able to spend time with my family, provide a future for my kids, and still love life.  Every moment is more precious than the next.  Don’t wait for something that seems to be tragic to happen in your life to find Jesus and/or happiness.   Don’t wait to hear about a crazed man shooting up a theater!   My heart goes not to all those families who are dealing with this tragedy.  What kind of world are we living in?  Who are raising these monsters?

Monday, July 16, 2012

Thankful


July 16th
I just want to take a space and thank God for all his done for me.  I am so thankful for my husband.  He has been a saving grace.  He keeps me stronger in his own way.  I am not sure where I would be without him.  I know I am not going through this alone.  He has been there every step of the way.  If I tell him I need him, he is there no questions asked.  My children may not know a lot about what was going on but they are there for me in such a beautiful way.  They tell me how pretty I am or just come check on me.  They know that sometimes all that is needed is a hug.  I know they care so much.  I have the most awesome mother a girl could ever have.  She is not an emotional person, but a doer.  I don’t have to ask because it’s already being done.  My dad BT, who always knows what to say.  I know you have my back.  And to my brothers and sisters, all of you have been great.  When I am at my lowest point, I know I can depend on you.  I know that you will be there. And to my newest friends, I am not sure I could make it all day without you.  You know how to keep me smiling and to put me back in my place.  This is for everyone who has prayed for me, had me on their mind, THANK-YOU!! You have made my journey that much easier.  I know that I am loved.  I know that I have guarding angels surrounding me.  Why else did my white blood cell count go down another 100,000 today?

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Baby Surprise


July 11th

It was SONOGRAM day.  I knew! I knew deep down.  How could we go in and not find out for sure?  It seemed like the first picture of our baby, opened its legs to show us.  God wanted us to know that his will, will happen.  It’s a boy! His name is Malachi Terry.  We haven’t decided on a middle name yet.  He is my messenger.  Would I have been in the acute stage if not for him?  I am well.  He is well.

Down 100,000


July 9th

Today I had my oncologist appointment; I was going to find out if the meds were working.  I got in and was waiting to see the doctor when I saw a woman that looked very familiar.  I stood there because there was no seating available.  My name was called.  As l walked by, she recognized me.  She asked what I was doing there.  I looked at her jokingly and said we are at a cancer treatment center.  As soon as I was done getting my blood drawn, I was met with a hug.  She was the security officer from my job. What is she doing here? I thought.  She seemed so happy and was always so friendly.  She invited Theo and me to sit with her.  She remembers who I was but didn’t know my name.  She gave me the full run of her story.  Well, her husband, who was working two jobs when he found out, got a call from his doctor and told him to take his a$$ to the ER right now. (Sorry, I had to tell the story right) he got there to find out he had AML.  This is the acute stage of leukemia.  It moves fast and needs immediate treatment.  He has since received a bone marrow transplant. They were there to get the final results to see if he was cancer free.  It was my turn.  I waited what seemed to be hours before the doctor came in with good news.  My blood count was down by 100,000.  Thank you, God.  I still have a fight. I still need to drop by 50-100,000 more and that’s not even to become normal.  I know my body will be restored. 

Monday, July 9, 2012

Soar like eagles!


July 8th

I had just finished typing July 3rd entry when Joel Osteen’s voice came across the television.  Not sure if my husband had turned to it or not but I was sort of, kind of paying attention from the kitchen.  I have never really given Joel a chance.  So I wasn’t extra excited about seeing it.  If you look back, the entry talked about being denied travel to TX to see the specialist.  Well, the message was about a second wind.  He gave an example of a woman he knew that had just received treatment from MD Anderson. (no joke, look it up)  She had just completed 6 months of treatment and was notified that she would need 6 more months.  He explained how she was getting weary and didn’t know if she had more fight in her.  But he then explained that we are human.  We get weary but it’s what we do from there.  God wants us to turn to him for our second wind.  When you think the pain is too much and you’re not sure if you can go on turn to God.  It’s like a woman having a baby; the pain can get unbearable but guess what the reward is right around the corner.  In Isaiah 40:31, it states but those who wait on the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Your greatest test comes when you’re weary so take me to the roof, dig a hole, and lower me down.

The 4th!!


July 4th

I had a great day with the family.  Theo and I started out the day getting prepared for it.  We were not only celebrating Independence Day but my brother was moving out of town for a new/old job.  We had the works! It was going to be an awesome day.  Slowly but surely everyone started showing up.  My sister-in-law came and saved the day with a great jello cake.  She didn’t know yet that she can bring anything to my house but a cake.  I am the Head baker!! I gave her a hard time about it too.  She started in on me too.  I did have on my Set it off attire, braids included.  I celebrated family all day. I really love my family.  Thanks!  But next holiday, it’s at their house.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Denied!


July 3rd

Denied!! I was at work about to make my next call when my phone rang.  It was my oncologist office, Tameka explained that she had just got word that my request to see a specialist in TX was denied.  I am thinking “excuse me”! I just talked to BCBS yesterday and was given a confirmation code, approved travel times, and co-pays.  I had even setup the appointment in TX.  I called my contact Felicia at MD Anderson immediately!  I explained to her what I had just heard.  She told me that this couldn’t be the truth and she would call on three-way to get this all figured out.  So we called.  We must have been this representative’s last call of the day because she was really rude.  Felicia explained to her she had received all the information that I had from a representative yesterday and well she cut her off and explained that what we were given was confirmation of receipt of prior approval but not approval.  As Felicia started back to explain more, the lady said “IT WAS DENIED, ANYTHING ELSE”? I guess not at this point.  She explained that I would need to be seen at Kansas University (KU) Hospital first.  It took a while to agree that this might be the best option for me.  It is close to home, I would be able to get to know the doctor’s responsible for my care, and very little out-of-pocket expenses.  But I would still like a hospital with more experience.  In the meantime, KU was recognized as one of the leading hospitals in cancer care.  But what about pregnant cancer care? We will see. I guess now I could plan a real vacation. Maybe I could get some money together and take a cruise.

Approved!


July 2th

Approved!  I called Blue Cross Blue Shield today and my request to MD Anderson was approved. It’s time to plan my vacation to TX.  I was so excited.  I get to go away, spend time with my family, and be seen by a specialist:  A person who has worked my several people dealing with pregnancy and cancer.  I called my contact in TX and set the date for 7/19/12.  My appointment was for 7 a.m.  I then called Theo to let him know we were on our way.  Now, I needed to come with the money for travel.  But I was not worried one bit. God got me!!

Total break-down

June 28th

At this point, I am a month in.  I have been trying to hold up and keep things positive not only for myself but the entire family.  I would rather die completely happy than to let, even this get to me! But today, I couldn't hold back.  I got this idea to research online, which I have told myself time and time again DON'T DO.  As I checked web-md for information on leukemia, I came across a stat I never want to see again.  It said there was a 52% survival rate.   I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I had thoughts of giving up.  Could I be so blessed to be apart of that 52%?  What would my family do without me? What would happen to the baby? Could he or she live this early outside of the womb? Would they eventually move on? Could my husband handle all of this by himself?  I went to my bedroom and cried!  I cried like I had nothing else to live for.  But I prayed.  I think God needed me to come back to him.  I may have slacked in my 12, 000 prayers per day for peace and healing.  God wanted me to give it away, put it in his hands.  Why worry, Donita, I got you!! I never want to feel like that again.  Please keep me in your prayers!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Worst so far..


June 28th

Here we go!  Wednesday is my early day at work.  I woke up and things were not right.  I told Theo I don’t know what’s going on but I had this feeling.  He is very supportive and told me to stay at home.  But me, I know I can’t leave him financially strapped. As I was getting settled at work, the cell phone buzzed.  The doctor’s office, I work as a collector for a bank so I couldn’t get to the phone in time to answer.  I completed my call and as I was walking out to call them back. Theo was calling.  This has to be bad.  I sat down and listened to what he had to say.  He explained that he had just spoken with the doctor and had bad news.  My blood count had gone up by 65,000.  This was too much too soon.  They told me that I had to seek immediate treatment at KU.  I went to tears.  My nose bled like never before.  As I was getting instructions on what my next step was, I was spitting up blood. Andrea came to the rescue.  I didn’t have to ask, she just did.  It’s amazing how God puts the right people in your life.  In the short amount of time I have known her, she has become a very good friend.  We started at the bank at the same time and have been friends since the beginning.  We just clicked.  I am not outwardly emotional person, but Andrea is awesome and I love her dearly.  Just so happen, her daughter was ill and she had to leave work.  All I could hear was, “Theo, I got this.  Wherever she needs to be, I will take her.  Just meet us there’.  I really hope she knew how much I appreciated her.  We found the place.  She couldn’t stay, she had her own issues but that was enough. THANK YOU, ANDREA!  Theo and I met at the elevator.  He hugged me like he had not seen me since forever.  He asked me to calm down and explained that God had already covered us.  He tells me that often and I need it.  We checked in, and got settled in the waiting room and before I knew it, all of my brothers were there.  And all of my sisters were there, my mother was there, my nephew was there.  The receptionist told me later that she had never seen such a supportive family.  I love them all!! I even had to wait longer to get a bigger room so we all would fit.  This appointment was the hardest yet.  Not sure if I have mentioned, Theo and I have decided that meds were not the best option for us due to the baby.  The first doctor came in; he made me explain what I knew about what was going on with my body. I cried.  He explained that I needed some sort of treatment. My head said no, no, no.  I knew I didn’t have much of a choice.  He gave all the options: I could take Gleevac but no more baby.  I could take another drug but I would be sick for 2 weeks with flu like symptoms.  Or I could have all my blood pumped out, cleaned and replaced but that option may not last long and could pop a lung.  Lastly, I could take Hydrorea which is not a treatment but it would buy me some time.  This medication wouldn’t enter the placenta since I had made it to my second trimester.  Thank God!! Well, Hydrorea was the best option for me.      

Smooth as silk


June 25th
At my oncology appointment: I think this is way to physically see how I am holding up.  It seems like I meet a new, good person every time.  This nurse right here…Julie was great. She had all the answers.  She was soft, understanding, and very informative.  If I had any concerns or fears, she took care of it.  As I look back, I can see God leading my path.  He knew right where he wanted me to be and when.  Well, it was a regular appointment. No unexplained bruises, no red spots on my skin, and no changes.  Like any other appointment, it was time to get my blood drawn.  Everything went smoothly.

Waiting


June 21th

The letter was on its way.  I finally get an unconventional vacation! Waiting, waiting, waiting….

I have sat down and can't get up..


June 11th – 15th

The 11th: I had an appointment with my OB-GYN, he had decided that it was time to consult a specialist.  He explained he would be dictating a letter so the insurance company would approve out-of-state coverage and would let me know when he’d faxed the letter.  I couldn’t do it!! It finally hit me.  I couldn’t move off the couch, the nose bleeds started, and the headaches were bad.  For the first few days, I sat.  I woke up, use the restroom, and found the couch. I sat for 12 hours straight.  I refused to feel like this. This was the week of my 9 year anniversary, I had plans.  So on my anniversary, I woke up with a change.  I couldn’t do it BIG, but it’s about us just spending time together.  We rented a boat, and put our poles in the water.  We were unsuccessful in catching any fish at all.  But it was so relaxing. We then went to Jazz and had an early lunch.  Depressing right…well, that’s what my husband said. No, it wasn’t a top of the line blow out celebration, but it was all my body could handle.   Truly excited about just getting away from it all, I called for an update of the letter.  When my doctor called back, he explained that the service he used to dictate these letters were down and he would get back with me soon.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

The biopsy...

May 29th
Today was the day! I had a biopsy scheduled for today. I wake up in a good mood. At this point, I am not sure whether God has covered me or I am in complete denial. But I am happy. My appointment was scheduled for 10 a.m. I woke up like normal, got the kids ready for camp, and was on my merry way. Theo woke up early; he had to be at work to finish some last minute stuff but agreed to be there. My mom and my sister-in-law meet me, and we all carpooled together. The conversion was great. Once we got there, I signed in and everything went from there. Theo got there to walk me up to the procedure room. Everyone was really friendly and made me feel comfortable. Theo said the warmest prayer and I was on my way back. The anesthesiologist asked me to count to three but I barely made it to two. Before I knew it, the biopsy was complete. At first, there was a lot of blood. But it finally clotted. The neonatal care lady came up to check the baby’s heartbeat, it was at 162. The team felt the procedure went very well and sent me on the way. Now, I have to wait for results. This time frame seemed to take forever but the call came after a few days. It was not what I wanted to hear! It was finally truly confirmed that I ‘Donita Terry’ have cancer. Or like my husband would say, “A blood disorder.” Ok, so now that I know I have cancer, let me tell you more about it. I was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia. A chronic condition is a human health condition or disease that is persistent or otherwise long-lasting in its effects. The term chronic is usually applied when the course of the disease lasts for more than three months. Chronic myelogenous leukemia is cancer that starts inside bone marrow, the soft tissue inside bones that helps form blood cells. CML is the rapid growth of immature cells that make a certain type of white blood cell. Such cells are found in the bone marrow, blood, and other body tissues. The chronic phase can last for months or years. The disease may have few or no symptoms during this time. Most people are diagnosed during this stage, when they are having blood tests done for other reasons. CML most often occurs in middle-aged adults and in children.

What did I walk in on?

May 27th
This was not your normal Sunday. I got up and was ready to leave with my husband. Theo helps out with the transport on the equipment from church so he leaves a bit earlier to setup. But this Sunday, I needed him so I rode. Everything went as planned until I was asked to teach the children’s ministry. I am not real proud of saying this but teaching other people’s children is my least favorite thing to do. But since no one else was there, I decided that it wasn’t all about me. Things didn’t go that bad; we actually had a great time. Meanwhile, my pastor was telling the entire church my struggle. As the children and I were wrapping up, I was asked to come back into the church. I was thinking it’s time to close. When I walked in, everyone was looking at me with this blank stare. I knew then the pastor had spilled the beans. I love my church! We cried, prayed, and lifted God’s name that day. I felt as if he was right there with me, carrying me!

Monday, June 25, 2012

GOD, I REALLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!

May 21st
After my doctor called on Thursday, he setup an appointment with a Hematologist. But the appointment wasn't until Monday. At this point, I have had all weekend to think about the news I just received. Did I have CANCER? Will I survive? What will my family do without me? GOD, I REALLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW! I work in a business casual environment so I got up and got dressed for work. I had a pretty dress and some nice sandals to match. I normally don’t wear dresses but today I wanted to be dressed-up to get the good news. I knew he was going to tell me that it was a mistake. “We switched your blood for someone else’s!” And after the good news, I would go into work feeling blessed that Jesus had healed my body. Well, we got to the doctor’s office, why did the sign read “Midwest Cancer Center”, my nerves were bad now. I thought I had an appointment with a Hematologist. But, I went in anyway. I sat there trying to fight the emotion that was building up. I wanted to cry so badly. But I couldn’t let fear get me down. Shortly after, out of nowhere my husband just hugged me. I needed that so badly. It was my turn. As my mother sat in the waiting room, Theo and I entered the back of the office. They took my weight and got me situated in a patient room. Oh, that nurse was so nice. She was pregnant too. She, Theo, and I sat and talked while she was getting my blood pressure. She was telling us that she hadn’t found out the sex of any of her babies. Theo and I looked at each other and decided at that point, we would NOT find out the sex of our baby, as well. We needed a BIG happy surprise in our lives. The nurse left the room, and the doctor entered. He asked how I was doing and then it started. Well, based off the test results, you have CML. (Chronic myelogenous leukemia) But you're pregnant, so you are going to have to decide rather or not you want to keep the baby. We need to start treatment right away and the treatment can cause birth defects and miscarriages. We need a bone marrow biopsy to confirm. Thinking to myself…Who does he think he is? He doesn’t even know me like that!!! The first thing he says is give up my baby!! Then out of nowhere I blurred out..”Make him stop talking, Theo”! He apologized that he came off so harsh. He wanted me to understand how serious this condition could be. I agreed to the bone marrow biopsy.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

What a day!


May 17th

For some reason, I needed someone. I asked the same friend out for lunch. She said her money was funny and couldn’t make it. I didn’t like that one bit. So we met up at the elevator and I offered to pay for lunch if she just went with me. We had lunch at Unforked. And was having a good time, and then I received the call that would change my life. Right after we were comfortable at the table, my phone rang.  It was my doctor. (I truly have the utmost respect for this guy) He explained that there was a problem with the blood that was drawn on my last visit. He told me that my white blood cell count was high.  At the time, I didn’t know what that meant. So I asked more.. “Ok, so what does that mean? Why are you telling me this? He says” Donita, the worst case scenario is Leukemia.” WHAT?? I have cancer!! Did you call the wrong person? Not me! Did you check this twice before you called me? Those were all the things going on in my mind. I sat there and cried! I needed her to be there. But more I knew that I needed Jesus more than ever. She started praying, rebuking Satan, and gave me comforting words. Nothing helped. Once I returned to work, I had to call my husband. How would he take this? It was like he already knew. God had prepared him to comfort me. He said all the right things. I had to leave work and didn’t return for a few days. The boys were in summer camp and Theo was gone to work, I couldn’t stay in this house and have a pity party. So I return back to work, I needed something to keep my mind focused. And plus I like my job.

Overjoyed!

May 14th

This was a pretty exciting day.  I had a doctor’s appointment. We looked for a heartbeat that wasn’t there. My doctor told me that the baby could be still behind my pelvic bone, so we did an ultra sound.  When we took a peek in, this baby was turning flips. I was truly overjoyed. They drew more blood. I left with a smile.


Saturday, June 23, 2012

I could've crashed and burned!!

Feb. 2nd

My husband and I have been debating to extend the family for quite a while. Well, this was the day we decided that it was time. I was going in for surgery; I could either replace my IUD or remove it. Well, you know what I decided at this point.  Everything went very well! We had already started trying. For the first time, I was reading up on ovulation and my normal body cycle.  I knew the best opportunity to become pregnant was the week of 3/9 through 3/12. We made it work!! A few weeks later I could feel my body changing. It was like I knew from day one. A friend of mine just knew I was off my rocker. I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test and nothing. I knew deep down it was not time. One day, I knew the time was right. I went to the dollar tree, picked up a test, and took it when I got back to work.  There it was a very slight pink line.  The same friend asked “Have you ever heard of a false positive?” I asked “Do you have faith, I just know!”  I had a lot of spotting this time, but my sister-in-law assured me it was ok. One day, the spotting was bright red. My doctor sent me to LabOne to have blood drawn to test my levels. The test confirmed that everything was just fine

Friday, June 22, 2012

One Foot In front of the other....

I was born Donita M. Gill 32 years ago. I had a normal life. I experienced nothing that wouldn't make me stronger. I moved to Arkansas in 1989. This was during the time the gangs in Kansas City were heavy. I know due to my brother's involvement. I was very excited about church and was baptised at the age 10. I did well in school and had lots of friends. After middle school, it was time to move back home. I started Wyandotte High School in 1994 and graduated in 1998. Go Bulldogs!! Shortly after high school, I met my soul mate Theo Terry. We met on Westport, hanging out in the streets. I remember that night so clearly! Before I had left the house that night, My mom said "Why are you wearing that do-me outfit? All the men will get the wrong impression." Well, I wouldn't take it back! I married Theo 4 years later in 2003 and we now have 2  children. My son Theo II was born in 2004 right after my husband completed Full Sail. My son Caleb was born shortly after in 2006. I couldn't ask for anything more. My life was GREAT! But I could feel that something was missing. We weren't in church and only living day to day. Well, my sister-in-law and friend invited us to church to see my nephew dedicated to God. After that, we were hooked. And also had a great benefit, the pastor was my husband's brother. Everything was going great, my husband joined the choir and we were more involved. I could really see his growth, strength, and I knew our family was chosen. But for me, I was at a stand-still. As I reflect back, I understand the events that took place. But at the time, I had no clue and was quite upset about the situation. I am not sure what caused this but my husband and sister-in-law, knew something more was coming. "She doesn't know pain which only Jesus can bring you through! Was she raped as a child?" What!!! What kind of person would say that? Oh, I was very pissed. How could she? What kind of people have I surrounded myself with? Why were they wishing evil in my life? Can't God show me his love, mercy, and grace without me suffering?