One Foot In front of the other....

I was born Donita M. Gill 32 years ago. I had a normal life. I experienced nothing that wouldn't make me stronger. I moved to Arkansas in 1989. This was during the time the gangs in Kansas City were heavy. I know due to my brother's involvement. I was very excited about church and was baptised at the age 10. I did well in school and had lots of friends. After middle school, it was time to move back home. I started Wyandotte High School in 1994 and graduated in 1998. Go Bulldogs!! Shortly after high school, I met my soul mate Theo Terry. We met on Westport, hanging out in the streets. I remember that night so clearly! Before I had left the house that night, My mom said "Why are you wearing that do-me outfit? All the men will get the wrong impression." Well, I wouldn't take it back! I married Theo 4 years later in 2003 and we now have 2  children. My son Theo II was born in 2004 right after my husband completed Full Sail. My son Caleb was born shortly after in 2006. I couldn't ask for anything more. My life was GREAT! But I could feel that something was missing. We weren't in church and only living day to day. Well, my sister-in-law and friend invited us to church to see my nephew dedicated to God. After that, we were hooked. And also had a great benefit, the pastor was my husband's brother. Everything was going great, my husband joined the choir and we were more involved. I could really see his growth, strength, and I knew our family was chosen. But for me, I was at a stand-still. As I reflect back, I understand the events that took place. But at the time, I had no clue and was quite upset about the situation. I am not sure what caused this but my husband and sister-in-law, knew something more was coming. "She doesn't know pain which only Jesus can bring you through! Was she raped as a child?" What!!! What kind of person would say that? Oh, I was very pissed. How could she? What kind of people have I surrounded myself with? Why were they wishing evil in my life? Can't God show me his love, mercy, and grace without me suffering?