Forget me not...

July 30, 2012

It’s been awhile, I know!!  The fund was setup at US Bank.  Any checks received needs to be made out to pregnant and fighting cancer.  I have been living the good life.  Every time I return to the doctor, everything is going great.  My blood count is down more and more.  I am getting ready for our new arrival, who I feel kicking and flipping every day.  He has given me such joy.   I am trying so hard to stay strong for him.  But today, I had a funny feeling.  I sat in the waiting room and something deep said “Prepare, some bad news is coming”.  Well shortly after, I received word that my blood count had gone UP by 3,000.  It’s not much I know but….. It’s up.  Why?? I haven’t missed a dose.  Could my body be starting to get used to it?  There is not much more they can do if this medication doesn’t work, what’s next?  Is it the pregnancy hormones that have got me all over the place? I heard, I cried.  And I cried again. And again.  I feel like I have total faith in God and that he will bring me through, but is it wrong to cry?  Can I not have emotion about this?  Can I think it sucks to hear bad news?  I am now rethinking the Texas trip.  I called this morning to see if an appeal is the right thing to do.  I am now waiting on a return call.  I will let you know what’s next.  But in the meantime, forget me not.  Please keep me in your prayers.